Am I Enough?!

A guy recently told me that "there just isn't enough interest for me to want to date you." Naturally as a girl i blamed myself instantly for why he felt that way. I thought i wasn't pretty enough, or funny enough, or smart enough, or .....the list goes on for a while haha. I remember waking up the next morning and looking at myself in the mirror not mad at the kid who thought i wasn't enough, because in that moment i believed i wasn't enough. Not just to him but to everyone. In my church calling, at work, at the dance studio, to my family and especially to any decent guy... I just wasn't enough. I guess you could say I had been struggling with lots of things at that moment as we all do in life, and the stress of my jobs and calling and expectations were all piling up, and that one comment was the tip of the ice burg. It sent me into a self-evaluation with myself being the harshest critic. And it ended with the thought "Im just not enough"

As i held back the tears at work, i was fishing for any compliment haha I wanted to feel pretty, and smart, and like i was wanted. So i text my sister-in-law looking for any compliment she was willing to give, but instead of a compliment she sent me a link  http://www.themomentswestand.com/2014/03/enough.html       and it changed my whole outlook on life. First it humbled me. My small issues where nothing compared to this poor women, but I dont believe she posted it to use as a bragging right, thought she easily could win. Her whole message was about feeling enough, and how others selfishness might make you feel less, but that cant define you or be your measuring stick. We are to remember that to God, we are enough, and that is the only person we should be trying to be enough for. So People think Im not worth dating, or I'm an awful RS President, or I'm learning at work slower then others, or I'm not the perfect daughter....it doesnt matter. In the end I wont be assessed by how others viewed me or treated me. In the end i'll be assessed by my loving Heavenly Father who knows my heart, knows how much i try, and knows my love for Him. At the end of the day, all i should worry about is am I doing enough, becoming enough, and loving enough so that when I get back to heaven and fall into my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ embrace, I will feel enough to them.

Plan A? Plan B?

Every one has a plan A for their life. Many have a plan b. And the really organized people have a plan C. But now that I seem to be on plan Z I find myself confused and unsure with what I’m really doing. But then this quote gives me the comfort I need. All i have to do is remember God has a plan for me, that obviously isn’t the same plan I planned on, but its a plan none the less that is well worth the wait. His timing is always better then our own. So with my faith I move forward, knowing that my deepest desires will some day, when its right, will come! And until then, I am to make the most of what I have and try to create a life filled with faith instead of doubt.

Birthday Week!

For those who do not know, i believe in birthday weeks, not just a birthday day! How this began i really cant remember but i havent had a bad birthday sense :)
This year i tried something a little new, to add to my birthday week i decided to do an act of service each day. I preplanned what i wanted to do for others so that this week i didn't become too self centered but still remembered to think outside myself haha some days were really great, other days i felt like i failed miserably! but all in all it was a good plan, and something i think i'll keep for years to come! :)
  Im posting a few pics of what went down this week, basically in a nut shell lots of food and treats, family time and shopping :) like i said, never a bad birthday!

 Rockwell's birthday is two days after mine, so when his birthday week started we celebrated at the Sweet Tooth Fairy together...it was fun till he was full then he wanted to go back home to mom! haha

 Julianna made me more treats...still have about half the pans left

 Charlotte made a cute little letter thing. Each day had a birthday song typed up and a little message with a little something....so thoughtful!

 My mom got me this dress...not too flattering in this pic but take my word for it, its cute!

I cannot post all my gifts and thoughtful notes i received but i feel so blessed and lucky to have the people i do in my life. I think one of the reasons i love birthdays so much is because your reminded how blessed you are with people in your life...(not because of the gifts) but the time and love they give you!

ward talent show

ok so this was a while back, like very beginning of this semster but i just hadnt put it up yet....it was our ward talent show but they didnt have anyone signing up for it so karli ( my roommate) is on the board and volunteered our apartment to do a dance...so the night before we got together and decided to do Party In the USA by miley cyrus...ya we just basically danced around looking dumb but everyone loved it...and when you see us exiting its us going into the crowd and lots of people got into it and danced with us....just a good fun memory!

End of Semester Dance Class Showcase

Every semester all the dance classes do a casual performance together kind of to show each other what we've learned! its probably my favorite part of the dance program up here because its all just fun and no pressure! anyway this dance was for my jazz class...i actually choreographed a little part of it...i start at the beginning...i cross over and im the left short girl when starring at the screen...then when the group changes im dead front for the next 8 counts and then the rest im not in.... enjoy

SYTYCD

For those who dont know i went to the So You Think You Can Dance tour in SLC, Utah this past weeeknd! it was amazing and i got to go free!!! i could not believe how much different it is when you see these dances live. I lost my voice i was screaming so loud, our seats were honestly amazing as you will be able to see in these pics!! i LOVED the whole night...3 hours of gifted, talented performers who just loved doing what they do! lets just say i wish i was them! so jealous!!

we made it!!! 3 hours of driving....i was attempting to jump but ray wasnt very fast with the camera! lol

just arrived...we wanted to know where are seats were!

i couldnt resist buying a shirt, and some tights for dance!! they are like my favorite bottoms to wear

yes our seats were this amazing!

the grand finale!!! it was the best 3 hours ive had in a LONG time!

My birthday weekend!

I turned 20!! im pretty much grossed out about how old im getting! lol but i had the best birthday! Sadly julianna, perry, the little girls and my dad couldnt make it up to provo for it, they were definitly missed! But chayse, char and my mom came up and we just had a ball! pretty much friday night was just getting to provo for me and then eating dinner with my mom. We all woke up saturday morning, went to kneaders which is basically the best place to get french toast! We then went shooting until we just couldnt shot now more! seriously those guns are the lightest things in the world! lol we went out to lunch then the BYU game! mckell was tired so my mom took her ticket and we all sat up near my grandpa and aunts and uncles! Such a good game and BYU won! I like to think i was their good luck charm! ;) anyway after we just went over to my aunt and uncles for cake and ice cream and then present opening! it was a nonstop day and i loved it!!

took a pic with my roommates before i left for the weekend

our tasty breakfast!!

i look tough right? lol

shooting my 22! how i missed her!

us all at the game!

after the whole day!

My favorite 2 cards from my little nieces! "Happy Shay"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!